primrose paths
by mystiques
Summary: dylan's never felt this way before—it feels nice to be loved, accepted, and to be complete. / for clara, at the coppertone wars 2013 christmas exchange! / AU, dylanchris / dylan-centric


um, so this is for clara [lydiamartins] and um, i didn't get the prompt "breakfastclub!au" but i think it means for the plot to be like the breakfast club? except i don't know what that is; so i'll just mention it? and um, sorry clara, i'm just slow, but i'm just confused but i tried my best to fit the prompts and all. give this a chance? um this might seem like a character analysis in the beginning, but don't worry, it does have a plot.

Prompts: 'angels and demons', breakfastclub! au, petrichor, and 'I don't have a choice, but I still choose you' [poison and wine]

_Dylan-centric, DylanChris later on_

beta-read by the amazing liz [red-jazz-singer] and abi [castawayhearts]! thanks! :)

* * *

**.:primrose paths:.**

Once upon a time, Dylan was a princess… or at least in her imagination she was one. Dressed in a flowing pink gown and delicately holding on to Chris Plovert's arm, Dylan was amazingly beautiful and flawless. Her silky red hair was cascading down her back in a waterfall braid, and her neck and arms were adorned with jewelry. And most importantly…she was skinny.

Dylan Marvil had always been fat. At least compared to her friends, she was fat. In her dreams, Dylan had always envisioned herself as a more mature, older, and more confident version of herself—one who was pretty and smart and a perfect size 0. She had always been told she wasn't fat, and was skinny, but looking in the mirror, Dylan would always stare at her large waistline and grimace. She… Was... Fat! And nothing was going to change it.

Massie had always called Dylan her "little angel", which brightened Dylan's mood when she was in middle school. Dylan had always believed Massie and had thought that she was in fact, just like an angel; beautiful with outstretched wings. She used to think she was perfect and superior, and just—above everyone else…that's all.

.

Once she became a senior in high school, Dylan realized that she was no longer an angel, or perhaps that she had never been one. She was a devil, and a devil wasn't a good thing…was it? A devil is evil, mean, and rude—everything no one wanted to be, but Dylan was a devil. She was full of flaws, imperfection, jealousy, and most of all…she was fat.

Dylan was not like her friends (or fake ones, to be honest with herself); as Dylan was fat. Well, perhaps that was not the only difference, but it was the most noticeable one, and the one that she was sure that everyone else knew about. When the Pretty Committee (Dylan's superficial group of backstabbing friends from middle school and the beginning of high school) had gone to the grand opening of the new DKNY store in the eighth grade, they had all posed in front of a large mirror together.

She couldn't help but compare her waistline with Alicia's tiny one. Grimacing, Dylan had tried her best to push the thought deep inside of her mind, and she had succeeded. But she should have known—the thought would never disappear. It would keep coming back over and over again, haunting Dylan in a way much like the devil does.

Dylan was never one for eating disorders, and she didn't want one either—she just wanted to be skinnier and not the largest one in the group. Dylan always had the problem of trying to fit in, and she always failed and managed to stand out even more. She tried being the class clown by joking around, but that didn't work out very well. It just made her slip into a mode of depression as she ran out of jokes to tell and the expectations were just so high.

No one had ever tried to save her from herself—or maybe it's just in her mind and she's still the same bubbly girl from her childhood. But still…Dylan's broken and there's no use in trying to fix her.

(Maybe some people cared and tried, but they didn't care enough. And they didn't try hard enough. Dylan still feels as if she's been separated from everyone, and they are all waiting for her fatal flaw to be exposed.)

.

It all started in kindergarten. Everyone had been friends (or that's what they say) and all was happy, right? Wrong. Not everyone was friends, and there was already some cliquey things going on. Everyone knew that Dylan was the third daughter of mega-celebrity, Merri-Lee Marvil, but yet they still ignored her during class and at recess.

Dylan had tapped Alicia Rivera on the back and asked shyly: "Can I play jump rope with you guys?"

She looked down at her pretty pink flats and blushed.

Alicia had stuck her nose up in the air and snapped, "No. Go somewhere else; we don't want to be your friend. Right?" She beckoned towards the large group of girls in front of her (which happened to be all the other girls in kindergarten). They all nodded.

Dylan felt tears at the back of her eyes and she had run away to the bathroom and hid herself in a stall, sobbing and wondering why they wouldn't accept her. How was she different from all of them? Weren't they all five-year-old girls? How was she different, and how come she wasn't allowed to play with them? Why was she singled out as the loser?

Never before had Dylan felt such abandonment. At home, the maids had always been all over her, asking if she needed anything. Her two older sisters always played dress-up with her. Her mother loved to tell her stories. And now, everything had changed. Dylan was all alone.

They say that a young child can never feel such depression and sadness, but it's not true in Dylan's case.

.

In third grade, she became a regular Goth. She dressed in all black, and she painted her nails black as well. Not only had Dylan been a loner and a loser since kindergarten but she also apparently had 'cooties'. She didn't really know what cooties were and Dylan couldn't understand how nothing had really changed since she was five.

No one wanted to be friends with Dylan…not even the new kids because Alicia Rivera always made sure that everyone knew to tease Dylan. She had never really been bullied before, just ignored… so Dylan was confused. Why was she being called "Big Bootie", "Fatty", and "Cutter"? Why was she being laughed at?

Dylan had always been picked last for teams during P.E. So she was obviously surprised when Chris Plovert had picked her for his team for an important game of Dodge Ball.

She had walked over slowly and whispered, "Why'd you pick me?"

Dylan's voice seemed to always be in a whisper that year. She just didn't want people to hear what she said and ridicule her for it.

Instead of answering the question, Chris had simply winked at her and muttered, "Because Dylan, I think you're good at dodge ball."

Dylan's mouth dropped in surprise, and she had just stood there, blinking. No one ever told her she was good at something! It was always "Dylan, clean that up" or, "Ugh, Dylan! You mess everything up!" She was never complimented, so this was a first for her.

But of course…Alicia had to come along and ruin everything.

.

Welcome to middle school, Dylan Marvil. It's the sixth grade and it's a time of firsts for everybody. There are school teams, clubs, and competitions. Boyfriends, girlfriends, cliques, popularity, and something called 'Looking your best for school'. It's different from elementary school and luckily for Dylan, Massie Block (the ever so confident new girl two years ago) had taken the red head under her wing, and now, everyone loves her, contrary to third grade.

Even Alicia Rivera and Kristen Gregory from elementary school were friends with Dylan now. Massie had helped Dylan get over the depression, and now Dylan dressed like the others, in beautiful designer clothing. She was worshiped and for once, people want to be like her and not everyone hated her.

Problem was, it was also the beginning of a new problem—weight issues. Dylan was starting to obsess over her looks and the pounds she weighed, and she kept tabs on everything.

_September 21—89 lbs; October 15—91 lbs; November 23—103 lbs; December 19—107 lbs; January 29—113 lbs_

And then Dylan stopped recording it, because she knew what was going to happen. She was going to gain weight, and she was fat. She had always compared her waistline with her friends', and hers was always larger. And of course, there were boy issues.

Dylan didn't have a crush on anyone. And she eventually got sick of her friends chattering on and on about their crushes.

.

Ninth grade—it's time for high school, and its public school now. Welcomed to BOCD as a freshman, Dylan's friends had slowly drifted away from each other. Massie had joined the older, more mature group of popular girls and had become the beta of a senior. Alicia had created a clique of dancer girls and Kristen joined a bunch of sporty girls. Claire Lyons, the new girl from seventh grade, had just hung out with Layne Abeley and her other friends.

And Dylan? She was left all alone…once again. She couldn't really find a group she was interested in, and she really missed her old friends. She missed Massie and how she could always cheer Dylan up. She missed Alicia, who never failed to keep them in shape with the help of Kristen. Dylan missed Kristen and the days the two of them spent together, having fun and laughing their heads off. Dylan missed Claire and her optimism and sweetness.

Dylan missed having friends. She didn't want to be alone again—she hated the feeling.

The weather seemed to agree with her, as well. After the few minutes of rain one November morning, Dylan was walking to the nearest candy store and could smell the petrichor emanating from the grass, and the pleasant odor filled her lungs which brightened her mood for a while. The grass however, quickly dried up as the sun was shining brightly overhead.

.

In her senior year, Dylan discovered the film _The Breakfast Club_ and she enjoyed watching it so much that she watched it over and over again, probably over twenty five times. She had a major crush on Chris Plovert, even though everyone called him a pervert.

She was hopeless though. She knew she was a disheveled mess with her wild red curls sticking out. She just didn't have the inspiration to try to look her best, and it's not like it mattered anyways. No one looked up to her anymore and compared to her friends from middle school, she had gone nowhere. She was still the same person—vying for acceptance, love, and friendship.

She wasn't sure if Chris liked her or not, even though they had history together and he always peeked over in her direction. And when he caught her eye, he blushed and turned away. But Dylan didn't want to get her hopes up, so she told herself countless times _'He doesn't like you. Why would he? You're friendless, and you're a loner. You're fat, and you're ugly. He wouldn't want you.'_

.

A few days before prom, Chris had stopped her after history, looking into her eyes with a sincere manner.

He had cleared his throat and said confidently, "Dylan, want to go to the prom together?"

Dylan had nodded slowly, unsure of what to say or do.

"I don't have a choice, but I still choose you." The words just flowed out of her mouth for no reason, and Dylan had clapped her hands over her mouth, furious at herself for muttering those lyrics from the song "Poison and Wine".

Instead of looking at her strangely and calling off the date, Chris chuckled. "Great! It's a date. I'll pick you up at 7 that day."

Dylan felt incredibly light and air-born that day. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she was just so joyful.

.

The day of prom, Dylan wore a strapless deep blue dress, to which her mother said that it looked "wonderful" on her. Dylan wondered if Massie would call her a little angel anymore—if they were still friends, of course. It reminded Dylan of a song called "Angels and Demons," one of her all-time favorites.

When Chris picked her up, his eyes brightened at the sight of her. He had kissed her hand softly and said, "Dylan, you look gorgeous."

Dylan giggled. "Thank you! You're looking very handsome yourself." She got into the car and they drove to school.

Upon arriving at the dance, Dylan found it utterly boring, but when it was actually time to dance, she actually felt happier than ever. Chris led the two of them around the room, so all Dylan needed to do was keep up and sway to the beat (which was surprisingly easy).

She felt emotions that she hadn't felt since the fourth grade—happiness, acceptance, love, and so much more. Dylan, relaxing in Chris's arms, was finally contented. She's wanted by him, and that's all that matters, right?

.

At graduation, Dylan smiled happily because nothing could bring her down anymore. She was leaving the torture of high school, she was dating the love of her life, Chris Plovert, and she was attending Yale, her dream college. What could go wrong?

Many, many things, but Dylan's put together again. Chris fixed her a month ago during prom, and she had never been better. Massie arranged a Pretty Committee 'reunion', and Dylan planned to attend it, as she knew it would be fun, and like old times.

But some things just can't stay the same, and Dylan knows they won't be best friends again, but at least she's not broken anymore. The fragile piece of glass we call happiness and peace is strong and covered in tape (at least in Dylan's case), so she just knows that deep down, she won't be depressed again in the near future.

Like all fairy tales, she lived happily ever after with her prince in shining armor.

(At least, in some sorts. Not everything is perfect, and Dylan knows that.)

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**an:** whoa, this is really really long! This is the longest thing i've written, and hopefully you liked this? i didn't use any eating disorders (those are overused) and i sort of incorporated in fairy tales...idk. :D this took lots of time...did you enjoy it? :)

qotd: So how was your Christmas? :)

Merry Christmas, guys! lol i wrote this over a stretch of two days (breeaaaaak!) and i am satisfied with it :D i was going to try to stretch this to 3k words with a long an, but then i realized that it was only 2,593 words with the original an...so it's never gonna happen.. :D

[did you guys notice my one-year anniversary on ffn was on the 14 of this month! yay! :D]

please leave a review? they are greatly appreciated and i would like to know how you guys feel about this. :)

also, can you do me a favor and check out the forum _coppertone wars_? it's the first forum on the list when you go to forums - clique. thanks in advance! :) i'm randomly rambling on right now for no reason at all haha. c:

xx jo


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